Arcadi Gaydamak. (Credit: Me, me, me.)
I have written about Arcadi Gaydamak, the Russian oligarch who is currently buying his way into Israeli politics, before. I also have to mention how ridiculously chuffed I am that a photo I took of him at a February press conference in Tel Aviv (above) has been used to illustrate three different articles about him. This one is a political analysis that summarizes all the allegedly scummy acts of which he is allegedly guilty – e.g., illegal arms dealing and money laundering. Recently, Yedioth Ahronoth published an article about Gaydamak’s alleged involvement in a Khazakhstan uranium plant (the article was in Hebrew only, but Haaretz mentions it here).
I guess I’ve made it pretty clear that I find the Gaydamak deeply offensive. Rather than launching into a boring tirade/series of unoriginal observations on megalomaniacs and the people that love them, I will relate a couple of minor, but telling, anecdotes.
Anecdote #1:
I first saw Mr. G. up close and personal at his annual New Year’s Eve party, at the Tel Aviv Hilton.
Gaydamak (The Godfather), surrounded by sycophants at his New Year’s bash.
I think his rather sweet assistant put me on the guest list as an apology for being unable to convince his spokesman, Yossi Milstein, to give me an interview – despite my repeated requests, over several weeks. So I rubbed shoulders with a bizarre assortment of guests, ranging from ultra-Orthodox sycophants to ambitious professional girlfriend types, with some minor celebs and run-of-the-mill rich people thrown in for variety (if I were a nob I’d call them parvenu, but since I’m a mere snob I’ll call them tres vulgar, dah-ling).
Gaydamak groupies
I wonder how it feels to host a party and invite a bunch of people you don’t know and/or for whom you have complete contempt.
Maybe a bit depressing?
The rabbi, his Fillipino caregiver, and the blonde.
Rita! Singing for the Big G.
I made the happy discovery that oligarchs can afford to offer an open bar with unlimited quantities of Johnnie Walker Blue, which helped take the edge off the horror a bit. The JWB is probably the reason I couldn’t stop giggling when the Gaydamak mounted the podium to give a speech in Hebrew. Which he read, haltingly, from a text that was clearly written phonetically in Cyrillic.
Reading the speech.
Anecdote # 2
Fast forward a few weeks. Gaydamak calls a press conference, which was held at the Dan Hotel in Tel Aviv. The cookies, fruit and beverages laid out for the media were all consumed by the time he showed up, more than 45 minutes late, to announce that he had formed a new social movement called Social Justice. Raviv Drucker, one of my favourite Israeli journalists, prefaced his question for Channel 10 news by scolding Gaydamak for keeping us waiting for 45 minutes (gotta love that man).
Raviv Drucker, telling Gaydamak off for keeping us waiting.
At one point, in response to another question, Gaydamak claimed that he did speak Khee-broo, but that he preferred to speak English “because English is the Gaydamak trademark.”
Shooting Gaydamak.
I approached the fabled Yossi Milstein, introduced myself, and explained that I had been trying for several months to obtain an interview with his boss for a major European newspaper. Milstein had never heard of it. The newspaper’s bureau chief joined us and introduced himself in English, and added that his editor was very eager to publish a profile of Mr. Gaydamak. Milstein looked at him blankly and asked me in Hebrew to translate what my colleague had said; it turned out that the oligarch’s chief adviser in Israel did not speak more than two words of English. I explained that the European newspaper had about 2 million readers per day. Milstein stroked his chin meditatively and told me to call him the following day on his mobile to set a date for the interview.
So I called the next day, at the appointed time, and Milstein said that he would not grant me an interview after all. Confused, I asked, “But why not?” His answer: “Because I changed my mind.” End of conversation. I do recommend this profile of Mr. Milstein, which was published a few months ago in Haaretz.
A couple of months ago, Pelephone, one of Israel’s three mobile service providers, released a television commercial that starred Gaydamak. The first time I saw it, my jaw dropped.
[youtube=http://youtube.com/watch?v=9vB0WYdp2eA&feature=related]
In the boardroom scene, Gaydamak says, “I’m not buying! I’m sick of it! No more suits!” Then, as he’s striding along the corridor, he says, “All the time. Buying, buying, buying. Khalas! (enough!). No more! (in Russian). Revolution! Enough with capitalism!” As he strips down to the clothes typically worn by kibbutz farmers, the Red Army Chorus music starts and he sings, accompanied by the chorus, “From today, from today, we’re not buying anything, not conglomerates, not buildings, zero, gurnicht (Yiddish for nothing), nothing.” Then the voice over explains: If you sign up for a 36-month contract with Pelephone, you don’t have to buy a mobile phone – you will be given one for free.
In the clip below, the Gaydamak addresses a group of Knesset members – it’ll also give you a taste of what passes for civilized behaviour at the Knesset (a.k.a. the national circus). The bald guy with glasses sitting directly behind the suntanned G., wearing a white open-necked shirt under a black jacket, is Yossi Milstein.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QGPmgu7A1lI&feature=related]
