The following Eretz Nehederet skit was broadcast the night of the elections, one hour before the preliminary results were announced. It imagines Israel, the day after Lieberman wins an unprecedented number of seats.

For the Hebrew-less, it starts with Bibi and Tzipi simultaneously claiming that each has won the elections. As each calls upon President Shimon Peres to give him/her the first crack at forming a government, Lieberman walks in, so they switch to ingratiating themselves to him. Bibi tells Lieberman that he’s a “lean, mean sex machine” and Tzipi tells him he looks fantastic. “Have they told you you’re a handsome man?” she asks. They both clamour to negotiate with him so that he’ll join their government.

In response Lieberman has his goons move them aside by force. When Bibi objects, Lieberman shoots a bullet at his foot. “Walla, he’s serious!” says Bibi, as the black-clad goons hustle him and Tzipi into a cell.

The lights dim, the Yisrael Beiteinu banner is unrolled, and Lieberman addresses the nation:

“Good Morning, Israel,” he begins. “Citizens, second-class citizens, third-class citizens – and Arabs. I declare the founding of a Jewish state called Yisrael Beiteinu. Applause.” (the audience obediently applauds, then stops as soon as Lieberman raises his right hand).

“The elections were a marvelous experience and they were also a final experience. There will be no more elections. Mina [a famous pollster], your next poll will be called, ‘What do you think of the leader?’ And the answers will be: (a) He is excellent; (b) He is great; (c) He’s totally hot, I’d leave him nothing but his socks and do him right here and now; (d) All answers are correct with the addition of coconut oil. Applause plus whistles.” (the audience obediently applauds and whistles, then stops on command).

“Regarding the rest of the choices, I decide as follows. On planes, regarding chicken or beef – beef. For weddings, garden or indoor event space -  indoor event space. On Galgalatz (army radio), Madonna or Shakira – Madonna. Regarding leftists: If you voted Hadash, you will receive a new (hadash) passport (the leftwing party’s name is an acronym for the Democratic Party for Peace and Equality, but it also means ‘new’). Applause. Now lower the volume of the applause. Raise it again. Now applaud according to a jazz rhythm.”

Kitzis, the news anchor, interrupts and asks, “Mr. Lieberman, would you allow me to ask you a question from the studio?”

Lieberman: “No, I won’t.” (laughter). “Which reminds me, regarding television (he picks up a remote control with the Yisrael Beiteinu symbol on it): this is your new remote control. There is one button, and a variety of one channel. You can watch Lieberman TV. The other channels have moved to the History Channel. Regarding Internet – there’s no need. From now on, there’s Yvette Net (Yvette is Lieberman’s nickname). You can send us your questions by email, and one of our representatives will contact you with a notice of indictment. Good morning, Israel.”

Kitzis interrupts again: “Mr. Lieberman, with all due respect, there’s no guarantee that you will even be a senior minister in the coming government – let alone prime minister. And there’s also the matter of the police investigations [into your affairs].”

Lieberman: “Don’t worry, I will investigate the police fairly and firmly (the slogan used by the army to describe the means used to evacuate settlers from Gush Katif in 2005).”

Lieberman calls one of the muzzled German shepherds and hands him a police cap to sniff. “Snoopy, find the chief of police! Catch him! Eat him! Go!”

Kitzis: “Ooookay, with that I must return the broadcast to Yonit Levy (the Channel 2 news anchor).”

Lieberman holds up his hand and says, “Leave Yonit to me!” He brandishes a taxi light (because Yonit’s boyfriend is the host of a game show called ‘Cash Cab,‘) and calls to another muzzled German shepherd, “Roxy! Smell this! Go! Eat Yonit! Go!”

And with that, Kitzis hands the show over to Yonit.