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Monthly Archives: February 2009

Photos from a diverse society

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Palestinian-Israeli rapper Saz, performing at Tel Aviv’s Levontin 7, which hosted a fundraiser for Physicians for Human Rights. A diverse group of Israeli (Arab and Jewish) artists performed, attracting a much-larger-than expected audience on a Friday afternoon. The money went to buy medical supplies for hospitals in Gaza.


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A poster in the underpass at Jerusalem’s central bus station. The photograph is of the late Lubavitcher rebbe, who left no heir – which is why some of his followers think he will turn out to be the messiah. The caption read, “The messiah warns: a Palestinian state is a danger to the Jews!”

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Abu-Dhabi Hummus in Tel Aviv. Note the spelling: Abu Dubi. Photo by DH.

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This is the hummus that DH and I ate for lunch. It was a gorgeous, warm afternoon in the middle of a Tel Aviv winter week. We soaked up the sun and enjoyed the break from the war and the elections.

Hummus is very important in Israel. It’s fair to say it’s a national obsession – to the point that my friends in Tel Aviv were shocked to hear from Mohamed that Egyptians don’t actually, um, eat hummus. How can this be?!

I know a documentary film maker whose next project is a documentary about hummus. Because non-Israelis just don’t understand this national obsession, so he wants to explain it.

Jews from Middle Eastern countries (Mizrachim) compose more than half the population of Israel. Sometimes they argue about who makes the best hummus. Once there was an episode of a popular comedy show (Naor’s Friends) that featured a hummus war between the Mizrachi owner of a north Tel Aviv restaurant, and the Arab owner of a well-known place in Jaffa. But the other characters in the show – the hummus eaters who were torn between loyalty to the Mizrachi hummus man and preference for the Arab man’s hummus -  were mostly Ashkenazim. Watch the episode here (sorry, no English subtitles).

For more about hummus, please consult this excellent blog by local hummus fanatic Shooky Galili (I think he’s Ashkenazi too).

Israelis pronounce hummus like this: “khoomoose.”

Not the weekly episode of Politica

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Before I acquired wisdom and discontinued my cable television subscription, I sometimes engaged in the masochistic practice of watching Israeli political discussion shows, like Politica or Wisemen’s Council. It’s sort of like watching the verbal equivalent of mud-wrestling – there’s a total lack of civility. Prominent journalists, politicians and academics gather around a table, usually with the moderator symbolically seated between the right and left-wingers, and they just go at it: they yell, they interrupt, they indulge in personal insults and they occasionally let loose a racist or sexist remark.

And we’re talking about a group of people with a common language and history here.

So imagine what it would be like to watch an Israeli face down three people who support the program to boycott his country, in a round-table discussion on Iran’s PressTV. Do you think it would be possible to maintain a civil discourse?

Yishay Mor, an Israeli living in London, proves that it is possible to have an “honest, respectful and open debate” even when there is no pretense of balance on the part of the host. Read Yishay’s short background description of the discussion on his blog, and watch the embedded video while you’re there. Yishay comes in at about 11 minutes. And I’m sure he’d be interested in your feedback, too.

Eretz Nehederet skit: Lieberman’s Israel, the day after the elections

The following Eretz Nehederet skit was broadcast the night of the elections, one hour before the preliminary results were announced. It imagines Israel, the day after Lieberman wins an unprecedented number of seats.

For the Hebrew-less, it starts with Bibi and Tzipi simultaneously claiming that each has won the elections. As each calls upon President Shimon Peres to give him/her the first crack at forming a government, Lieberman walks in, so they switch to ingratiating themselves to him. Bibi tells Lieberman that he’s a “lean, mean sex machine” and Tzipi tells him he looks fantastic. “Have they told you you’re a handsome man?” she asks. They both clamour to negotiate with him so that he’ll join their government.

In response Lieberman has his goons move them aside by force. When Bibi objects, Lieberman shoots a bullet at his foot. “Walla, he’s serious!” says Bibi, as the black-clad goons hustle him and Tzipi into a cell.

The lights dim, the Yisrael Beiteinu banner is unrolled, and Lieberman addresses the nation:

“Good Morning, Israel,” he begins. “Citizens, second-class citizens, third-class citizens – and Arabs. I declare the founding of a Jewish state called Yisrael Beiteinu. Applause.” (the audience obediently applauds, then stops as soon as Lieberman raises his right hand).

“The elections were a marvelous experience and they were also a final experience. There will be no more elections. Mina [a famous pollster], your next poll will be called, ‘What do you think of the leader?’ And the answers will be: (a) He is excellent; (b) He is great; (c) He’s totally hot, I’d leave him nothing but his socks and do him right here and now; (d) All answers are correct with the addition of coconut oil. Applause plus whistles.” (the audience obediently applauds and whistles, then stops on command).

“Regarding the rest of the choices, I decide as follows. On planes, regarding chicken or beef – beef. For weddings, garden or indoor event space -  indoor event space. On Galgalatz (army radio), Madonna or Shakira – Madonna. Regarding leftists: If you voted Hadash, you will receive a new (hadash) passport (the leftwing party’s name is an acronym for the Democratic Party for Peace and Equality, but it also means ‘new’). Applause. Now lower the volume of the applause. Raise it again. Now applaud according to a jazz rhythm.”

Kitzis, the news anchor, interrupts and asks, “Mr. Lieberman, would you allow me to ask you a question from the studio?”

Lieberman: “No, I won’t.” (laughter). “Which reminds me, regarding television (he picks up a remote control with the Yisrael Beiteinu symbol on it): this is your new remote control. There is one button, and a variety of one channel. You can watch Lieberman TV. The other channels have moved to the History Channel. Regarding Internet – there’s no need. From now on, there’s Yvette Net (Yvette is Lieberman’s nickname). You can send us your questions by email, and one of our representatives will contact you with a notice of indictment. Good morning, Israel.”

Kitzis interrupts again: “Mr. Lieberman, with all due respect, there’s no guarantee that you will even be a senior minister in the coming government – let alone prime minister. And there’s also the matter of the police investigations [into your affairs].”

Lieberman: “Don’t worry, I will investigate the police fairly and firmly (the slogan used by the army to describe the means used to evacuate settlers from Gush Katif in 2005).”

Lieberman calls one of the muzzled German shepherds and hands him a police cap to sniff. “Snoopy, find the chief of police! Catch him! Eat him! Go!”

Kitzis: “Ooookay, with that I must return the broadcast to Yonit Levy (the Channel 2 news anchor).”

Lieberman holds up his hand and says, “Leave Yonit to me!” He brandishes a taxi light (because Yonit’s boyfriend is the host of a game show called ‘Cash Cab,‘) and calls to another muzzled German shepherd, “Roxy! Smell this! Go! Eat Yonit! Go!”

And with that, Kitzis hands the show over to Yonit.

Election wrapup for the Guardian newsblog

Amir Cohen/Reuters

Amir Cohen/Reuters

I know I said I’d be writing a series of four pieces on the election, but in the end they asked me for one more – a wrapup of the results.

It’s called, The election result no one is happy with.

Fourth article on the elections for the Guardian newsblog

If I had written the fourth article of this series for my blog, I would have called it “No citizenship for you!”

It’s about Avigdor Lieberman, the opposition to Lieberman, and a guy who thinks that everything would be okay if we all – Jews and Arabs – would just smoke a joint and relaaaax.

Click here to read Lieberman, Arabs and cannabis: pick of the Israeli election campaign clips.

Blogging in the bubble: my third piece for the Guardian

Azrieli Towers

My third piece for the Guardian newsblog is about bloggers who don’t like to write about politics. It starts like this:

One of Israel’s most famous bloggers never writes about politics. “It bores me,” explains Liat Bar-On, a 36-year-old journalist. “I consider myself a leftist and I was against the Gaza war, but I don’t want to write about the violence and the corruption and the crappy reality around me. I prefer to bury my head in the sand and ignore it all.”

Bar-On’s blog, Doda Malka (Auntie Malka), is about “life and relationships – that is, about my relationships.” She channels her considerable writing talents into musings about topics that range from why she gets irritated with friends who send long text messages to her mobile phone, to whether or not she would like to become a single mother via artificial insemination.

Click here to read the rest.

My second piece for the Guardian: Anyone but Bibi!

My second piece on the Israeli blogosphere’s take on the elections is now up on the Guardian’s website. It starts like this:

“A friend – and occasional blogger – who lives in a prosperous town in central Israel phoned me from her car this morning to moan about the state of the country. ‘I’m depressed,’ she announced from the driver’s seat of her child-friendly SUV. ‘I’m driving around the main streets of my town, looking at the campaign posters, and they are all for far-right parties! What’s going on in this country?! What happened to the moderate left?’”

Click here to read the rest.

Aaaand another fruitcake for the Middle East Insane Asylum

The following is a letter that was sent today to Pinchas Buchris, the Israeli Defense Ministry Director-General. To paraphrase the person who sent it to me, it just goes to show that this conflict is all about who owns the hummus!

Hummus by Liormania on Flickr, Creative Commons

Hummus by Liormania on Flickr, Creative Commons

Dear Mr. Buchris,

On behalf of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) and our more than 2 million members and supporters worldwide, I am writing to propose an idea that would draw attention to how simple it is to reduce violence. I’ve attached a copy of a poster that we hope you will allow us to post on both sides of the Gaza Strip and West Bank barriers. The sign depicts what the world wants to see: Israelis and Palestinians breaking bread together, something that often seems unachievable. The meal is vegetarian-the only diet that does not involve bloodshed-and the poster carries the slogan “Give Peas a Chance,” which is inspired by John Lennon’s song about war. We have also included the statement “Nonviolence Begins on Our Plates: Go Vegetarian” on the sign in both Hebrew and Palestinian-Arabic.

Throughout the Middle East and the world, animals raised for their flesh, eggs, and milk routinely suffer physical and emotional pain, terror, and death. Certainly, these are horrors that humans come to understand during times of war. Treated as inanimate objects who are not worthy of our respect, many animals are still conscious and able to feel pain as they are skinned and dismembered-something that can only be described as torture. Although we are often powerless to stop much of the violence in the world, every time that we sit down to a meal, we can make the choice not to participate in violence against animals.

While choosing a falafel sandwich over a lamb chop might not create instant peace, it will reduce the amount of preventable suffering in our world, which is valuable in and of itself. International peacemaker Mohandas Gandhi said, “The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated.”

Please let me know that we have your permission to place these posters on the barriers. Thank you for your consideration.

Very truly yours,
Ingrid E. Newkirk
President

Update: Mohamed took the time to go over to the PETA blog and confirm that this is not a joke. Voila, the posters.

Writing about Israeli blogs for the Guardian

I’m writing a series of articles for the Guardian’s newsblog about Israeli political bloggers and what they’re saying about the upcoming national elections. Each post will cover a different demographic / political orientation. The first one, If bloggers were representative of the mainstream, was published today. The article starts like this:

Assuming the polls are accurate – and they have been quite consistent – Israeli voters are poised to elect a rightwing government in next week’s elections. But if bloggers were representative of the mainstream, Israel’s next government would probably be a Jewish-Arab coalition of socialists, social democrats and environmentalists.

Click here to read the rest.

Guest post from a reader: on Gaza, fundraisers, and prejudice

Protestors demonstrate against the BBC's decision in London. Credit: Frantzesco Kangaris/Agence France-Presse

Protesters demonstrate against the BBC in London. Credit: Frantzesco Kangaris/Agence France-Presse

A reader who works for the BBC wrote to ask if I planned to post about her employers’ decision against broadcasting a fund raising appeal for Gaza. The Beeb based its decision on the concern that broadcasting the appeal while the story was ongoing would give the impression of bias. John Burns of the New York Times summarizes the ensuing controversy here.

Anyway, I responded to this reader’s query by observing that I hadn’t really been following the controversy very closely, even though I knew it was a huge story in the UK. Privately, I thought it sounded shrill, polarizing and unnecessary. And even more privately I thought, “Eh, the Brits are so eccentric. After all, they eat yeast paste on white bread for breakfast. Eechs. And besides that, imagine thousands marching on the streets of London if the Beeb refused to broadcast a fundraiser for East Timor, Congo or Sri Lanka. Ha!”

So I suggested that this reader might be interested in writing a guest post for this blog. Below is her response, which I am publishing with permission. The reader’s name is witheld for obvious reasons.

Oh, two more things: Sky news also decided against broadcasting the appeal; and in the end, the Disasters Emergency Committee (DEC) raised GBP 3 million – even though the money might never actually end up helping the people of Gaza.

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Hi Lisa

Truth be told, I’m reluctant to write about it because: (a) I do not proclaim to be a writer – nor a decent one at that and (b) although I understand the decision not to air the appeal and, to a degree, stand by the decision, I’m still unsure whether or not it was the right decision in the long run. The argument that the Director General puts forth is that it’s a continuing news story and by broadcasting an emotional appeal on a news channel with harrowing images, it might appear that the BBC was “taking sides”. In addition, management was not convinced that the funds raised would reach the victims and those in need. And yet, by not broadcasting it, the BBC has been denounced as pro-Israel/ anti-Palestine and taking sides.

Just as a side note: this isn’t the first time that an appeal was rejected by the BBC. In 2006, the BBC rejected an appeal for East Africa, again, because they weren’t certain that the funds would reach the victims.

I don’t mean to sound like a PR piece for the BBC and as I said, although I understand the decision I can’t say with 100 percent certainty that it is the right one.

What does piss me off, however, is that this tragic war and the BBC’s refusal (as well as Sky’s refusal) to air the appeal, seems to have been hijacked by and turned into yet another example of how evil they perceive Israel to be. Or how “powerful Jews” lobby and influence broadcasters. Every day, I am emailed viewer’s comments about our programmes and recently, I’m particularly astonished at people objecting to a presenter on a children’s show (“Blue Peter“), who is rediscovering his Jewish roots. The comments are too depressing to reiterate.

I should probably note that I’m not Jewish (or Christian- never even been baptized!) but rather, just another person who wants peace in the Middle East.

Also, perhaps it’s my Canadian upbringing (and thus hyper sense of political correctness), but I am regularly shocked at how anti-Israel (anti-Jewish? I don’t know), Europe and Europeans can be. Not anti-Olmert/current politicians – but out and out ANTI-ISRAEL. And even though I identify as someone who is left-wing, I always seem to find myself isolated when it comes to that old debate that everyone and their dog has an opinion about  – i.e. Israel’s right to exist.

Sorry to have gone on about this, I guess I’m just tired of walking past the protests outside my work and having “shame” screamed at me for something out with my control. It’s been cathartic though!